I used the privilege of MTV to go to a lot of Saturday Night Live shows. I was dating Chris Farley and I was crazy about him. One time we were going to the Museum of Natural History to watch a shark movie. I was starstruck that I was on a date with him. It’s snowing like crazy, we were cutting through Central Park, and Chris kept falling. He kicked my feet from underneath me, and I did a face plant in the snow. We get up, we laugh. We get to the museum and everyone’s looking at me. I’m thinking it’s because I’m on a date with Chris. Then I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and all my makeup had run down my face, like Alice Cooper. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t you tell me?” And he’s like, “I wanted you to look ugly so nobody else would go out with you.”

He jilted me for the most beautiful girl in the world, Laura Bagley. But every night I went out with Chris, he had women throw themselves at him. I don’t know any man that could scoop the poozle like Chris Farley.